Apologies

Something I've learned in my extensive experience at life is that it is easier to do things right than to try to apologize. Unfortunately we are all flawed, myself included, and we are going to hurt people, say hurtful things in a frustrated moment, fail to see things from another's perspective, see things as though through a foggy glass colored by our own perception of things and ultimately make many, many mistakes.

Yesterday I did all of the above. On a message board I'm on I've allowed my own perception of things to cause me to dislike a regular poster. Yesterday, I was in a rather testy mood and in a moment of frustration with this person, lashed out a bit. I hemmed and hawed and made excuses but ultimately thought about how it would have felt if I had been new to the group and had been talked to in this manner. People have often misperceived my intentions or disliked something I've said and I haven't liked having this pointed out to me in a superior manner. I realized that this is exactly what I did to her.

Regardless of my personal feelings it was inappropriate and certainly not a kind thing to do and so I apologized. I offered an olive branch and even suggested that perhaps it was those flaws that I have, that I recognized in her, that were bothering me. Perhaps we could grow from this situation and move on toward, if not friendship, at least some sort of equanimity. Unfortunately this person did not reply and for fear of causing further conflict I have not brought it up. I was completely sincere in my apology. I am the first one to change my tune once I recognize a mistake that I have made. It is an attribute I value in myself. It would be nice if I didn't make the mistakes in the first place and I hope I make less than I used to, but we are all bound to make mistakes now and again.

I'm not sure what to do, but I know that I will endeavor to see things from other perspectives before I lash out from a place of impatience.